?Teen Beet Interviews Dead City Radio?
Former lacrosse cheerleader Neil Johnston met Samoan pan-handler Leigh Pepin in a soup kitchen in Glasgow while the latter was on the lam from The Michael Landon Bar in Grenada. The grizzled Canadian chuckles: ?He had run up a 700 euro tab for tapas and Turkish cigarettes. We decided to form a band to put an end to our money problems?.
Asked whether the plan was a success, he rejoined: ?Let?s just say we?ll never have to worry about money again for the rest of our lives. In the end, though, Leigh and I took those bastards to court. It cost us ?2,000 in kick-backs to crooked judges, but it?s the principle. Those scumbag publicans will never see a red cent from us. Michael Landon. Highway To Heaven. Pricks?.
John Daly was languishing in obscurity in Eastern Europe as an improvisational mime artist when he was drafted into DCR.
Pepin: ?Actually, all his instrumental parts are pre-recorded for live ?performance?. He was hired for his dramatic flair. If you look closely, you?ll notice he?s not plugged in. And he wears a hearing aid?.
The band recorded their first collection of songs, ?late nite transmissions?, in a top-secret bunker deep beneath the bowels of Jaconelli?s Cafe in Maryhill. Released to rapturous critical acclaim, it rocketed instantly to the top of he charts, and has earned them a clutch of prestigious awards. The album?s title has since entered the O.E.D., defined as ?redolent of impeccable guitar-indie chic?.
Asked what the secret to the band?s spectacular pop success is, they candidly revealed: ?All our melodies and chord sequences are re-workings of classic Abba and Village People songs. We have a hugely devoted homosexual following. I tell you, those guys know how to shake it?.
It was touch-and-go for a while, though. The band was almost derailed by legal charges of racketeering, corruption and embezzlement. Their first keyboardist was used as a scapegoat, made an example of, and is currently serving four consecutive life sentences in a South American prison.
Former travelogue writer and erstwhile spiritual guru Katie Sweeney came aboard to tickle the ivory and sing sweet blues. Her indelible mark on the band is undeniable. Mixing the smoky bar-room vocal stylings of seminal bluesman ?Mississippi? Hairball Sacks, and with the brutal teeth-shattering force of Liberace on piano, she has singularly transformed DCR into the global super-group they have become.
Give drummer Robert Calder his due, though. After a spell as third percussionist with The Grateful Dead during their ?Pretentious in Egypt Tour? (1969-1978), he was cast as the lead in the West End musical ?Joseph And The Amazing...blah, blah blah?.
Sickened by the right-winged politics of the theatre, he returned to music at the urgent behest of DCR, who had long been devoted fans of his solo concept album ?One-Legged Cricket Symphonies? (Gig Bong Records, 1983).
Calder: ?Pounding the skins is really what I was born to do. I used to beat syncopated Cuban rhythms against the walls of my mother?s uterus. Actually, recorded samples of this have been looped and incorporated into some of our new material, so listen closely?.
What is next for DCR? What further giddy heights of celebrity have they yet to scale? Johnston: ?We?re all going to get sleeve tattoos, probably of ourselves, then we?ll hopefully settle down to some new recording. There?s been a lot of subtle pressure put on us to perform our e.p. ?poprocks + soda = KABOOM!!!? with Pavarotti and The London Symphony Orchestra live from United Nations headquarters, but we really feel we?ve exhausted these low-key, intimate performances. We?d like to try something really big and memorable?.
Whatever these pop wizards have up their billowing musical sleeves, rest assured that the free world trembles with anticipation at the prospect of becoming mindless, worshipful slaves to their all-consuming musical blitzkrieg...
